Late Earth – Garden Triptych

Purgatory

  waiting in brambles
  arthritic oak
  shrinking rain forest
  infringing tractor

Hell

  overgrown weeds
  abandoned lawnmower
  beetles, poison sumac 
  stream, grey-green toxic waste

Heaven

   pigs with wings
   snakes with human heads
   melting flowers
   strewn apple seeds

Helix Redux

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About 1emeraldcity

Teacher, writer, touch of the poet, laughter, wit, cats, all animals, nature, solitude, friendship, cosy pubs, flamenco, classical guitar, good food...I even savor dark moments...occasionally.
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29 Responses to Late Earth – Garden Triptych

  1. marousia says:

    Such stunning images – love this Fufu – the metaphor is so beautifully sustained

  2. 1emeraldcity says:

    I hesitated writing this…I’m scared each time I re-read it. Thanks so very much for your support, M! :))

  3. fridayam says:

    There are some nice images here, J. I’m not sure it hangs as a poem–each section could be more developed?

    • Yeah,, of course one can always put more into their poems, but then it’s not the job of a poet to make things that one can digest as easily as a hollywood script. It’s the job of a poet NOT to do that, isn’t it? I think that it’s done, or ready, only when the poet themselves think it is. I for one feel that my best poems are the ones that are a little difficult to get a grip on,, i like to make the reader think a little.

      • 1emeraldcity says:

        You’re right, Dan. But I wonder if that reader wasn’t talking about writing it in such a way that perhaps would be more poetic, not so much in making the meaning clear…because I think that’s already there…but perhaps stringing the words a little more neatly, structuring it in a more interesting fashion. I’m not sure myself. But something doesn’t ring poetic bells here for me. Dan, I so appreciate your words and support. Thanks so much for the visit and read!

  4. 1emeraldcity says:

    You, know…this time I somewhat agree with you. Something is not quite right …whether it’s what you say…or something else…not sure. hmmmmm….pondering. Appreciate the read and comment, Steve!

  5. No reason to be afraid when you read this, It’s very good use of image and metaphor!

    • 1emeraldcity says:

      Well thanks for that, Dan. I mean when I reread this…I’m afraid..for Earth, for what will happen to Earth and all of its inhabitants because of our carelessness with its sustainability. Thanks, so much!

  6. peterwilkin says:

    I think this is a very cleverly composed poem Jacquie with some wonderful imagery inside it. I like the way you’ve titled each small stanza & … well, I think it’s tight and it’s powerful. For me, it works well :)

    • 1emeraldcity says:

      U know how I value your critiques, Peter..I’m glad you respond to the imagry and the premise. What still bothers me, tho, is the cataloguing of words. Seems to me I could have done a more graceful job of it. However, the “power” you see, might then be lost.. I have to think about this. Most grateful for your read and comments, as always, mate!

  7. Quirina says:

    I love this poem, Jackie. I think the words you chose and the way you arranged them was very economical and at the same time absolutely powerful in creating the images. I love the pigs with wings … I have an image of pink, wings and blue sky (because that is heaven) to me.

    • 1emeraldcity says:

      Ah, Q…leave it to you to always see something unusual…beautiful…I love that about you! Thank you so much for the read and lovely comment. (I have not forgotten your blog…will get to it either late tonite or early tomorrow , promise!) You are a dear!

  8. I like this.

    The content is good, but I also like how the first verse is small text, and then it gets bigger. That’s a nice touch, and I felt it went well.

    Nice work here.

  9. tashtoo says:

    Your piece does much to bring that fear of what will become of us to the forefront. You’ve woven a powerful piece, that not only produces that fear, but you use the common, the every day…really driving that feeling home. I think it’s just fantastic!

    • brian miller says:

      heaven is snakes with human heads? ha on when pigs fly…what does the future hold for us…i dunno…i was hoping heaven was more a hot tub but…smiles.

      • 1emeraldcity says:

        Hey, Brian…you can still have the hot tub…but just make a little room for the pig and snake, is all. Who knows what that helix will look like in a few thousand years…what with natural selection, hybrids, mutations…and then, of course, there’s always Monsanto.

  10. 1emeraldcity says:

    You know Tash, your words really do serve to wash away my doubts somewhat…not so much on the chosen topic but the execution..is what worried me. I don’t like to write in “poetic code” …it’s not my thing… but neither do I want to take the “easy, cataloguing” method.. Maybe it works here At any rate, I’m very grateful for your support here. :)) (will get to your entry later tonight or tomorrow) Again, my sincerely thanks!

  11. Brian Carlin says:

    I see a taught collection of possible worlds, probable worlds… And the thoughtlessness, neglect, that brings them about. No need to change it. It has enough room for interpretations.

  12. Chazzy Chazz says:

    You read my mind, Ms. J. The notions of heaven and hell just got a boost. I’ve always found that finding these earthly parallels to the imagined things has an edifying purpose. One must remain aware of how much these concepts are indeed under much of our control. We can make a messy hell of our world thru pollution or bring a bit of heaven to it, as fantastic or outlandish that last one might turn out to be! Strange to think that purgatory and hell are easier to grasp by us mortals than the third. :)

    • 1emeraldcity says:

      Hi, Chaz! Earth and Purgatory are the penultimate. Hell is the imagined and the fearsome unimagined. But pepper Earth a little more with Monsanto and the like,and there you have a mutated Earth and real hell, ergo…helix redux. Let us pray…or rather, let us act, if we still have the window and the will. Thanks much for the thoughtful read and comment….as always. :))

  13. ayala says:

    A nice powerful write !

  14. claudia says:

    haha..if there are pigs with wings in heaven, i wanna go there..just to see them fly…smiles..nice

    • 1emeraldcity says:

      Yup. You’re the second one now who likes that image…But there are those pesky snakes with human heads. Ya’ think we can stop Monsanto before all that happens? Anyway, Claudia, thanks much for the read and comment. Glad you enjoyed the pig image :))

  15. C Rose says:

    This is such a unique and clever expression Jackie, really enjoyed how vivid you capture each level. Well done my friend ~ Rose

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