Kamikazi moth
doomed
Jealous of its cousin
the Butterfly
Lepidopteral pied piper
shepherding relatives to forever after
Sucking the oxygen
from the flame
Closer and closer
thinking to color itself
as the Monarch
with hues of amber, onyx
Only to be punished
for its cocooned hubris
Losing its place in the
order of things
-0-
*Inspired and suggested by Kokeesachdeva, Micropoet
“sucking oxygen from the flame” – great line followed by a wonderful ending stanza. Lovely work, J.
Yay! Thanks so much for stopping by, and for your read and comment!
There is a great book called “Moth Smoke” by Mohsin Hamid you should read Jackie, which uses the moth around a flame as a metaphor for the main character’s fall from grace. I love “shepherding relatives to forever after” enjoyed immensely:)
I’ll put that on my reading list; thanks! Sounds intriguing. Yay for your reaction to this little piece and thanks for your support Monty!
)
“Closer and closer
thinking to color itself
as the Monarch
with hues of amber, onyx” – I LOVE this part!
Hi, Eve! Thanks for stopping by and commenting! Glad you like the poem
)
Nice work Jacquie ~ lots of lovely, colourful imagery in this poem ~ I actually saw in my mind’s eye the poor moth smoking & spiralling down into oblivion!
Hey, Peter! thanks for stopping by. Glad you liked this little piece!
“Losing its place in the
order of things”
Brilliant!
Oooooooo! Yeah? Thanks sooooo much!!
all for the sake of what …beauty…is death worth it…to dance so close tot he flame? jealousy kills…
Brian! Jealousy might destroy, but it is an emotion that must be owned and dealt with. As for beauty, men have killed for it…stupid, wasteful…but there it is… Take a look once more at the ending lines….this should or might answer the points you pose. Thanks for read and comment
)
the moth and the butterfly…oh there are countless of these jealousy stories..love how you bring the emotions alive here…think almost everyone has felt like the moth every now and then…and then it’s just a decision..
Wow..Claudia! You got it! Right on! Few will admit to that emotion, but dang…it’s there sometimes…and yes it certainly is a decision thereafter! Thanks much for the read and insightful comment! I’ll get to your entry, lady poet, later tonight.
)
Just terrific – though I have to say that cocooned hubris is pretty much the best kind! Much better than, for example, war-mongering hubris. Lovely poem. k.
Hello! Yes, that’s one way to look at it..I suppose. Thanks much for stopping by, and for the read and comment!
I have felt like the moth at times. Exellent poem.
Hi, Laurie! I suppose we have all felt like the moth at times…Thanks for your honesty..and the read and comment!
An awesome write, Jackie .
Thanks, hun! Really appreciate your stopping by and the supportive comment!
I like the terse words yet a lot of energy in the movement to the flame ~
These lines are wonderful:
Closer and closer
thinking to color itself
as the Monarch
with hues of amber, onyx
Glad you liked this piece, and I thank you for stopping by, leaving your comment!
Very nice work here. Never quite figured out why moths stay in during the day, yet go towards the light. But that temptation of something that’s beautiful yet harmful, you’ve captured it perfectly.
And on a lighter note, butterflies may think they are better, but moths have Mothra, and she’s way better than any butterfly.
The seduction of the moth by beauty is an ever fascinating metaphor, isn’t it? As for Mothra…she really scares the hell outa me…lol..Thanks for read and comment!
This is great Jackie, a layer of biology to the beauty that unfolds so many layers! ~ rose
Thanks, Rose, for seeing what you see…and for the read and comment!
Chuckling at the Mothra remark above me and forgot what I was going to say, except I like this a lot–I like the way you’ve arranged it in couplets, and the compelling images you’ve drawn of a common subject that make us revisit the whole cocoon. Nice one, jackie.
Thanks much, Hedge..for the visit, read and supportive comment!
Lovely writing Jackie – made me think of Icarus – this one works on so many levels – LOVE it!
Hi, M! Love it that you see the myth of Icarus here! Thanks so much for the read an interesting observation:))
I love the ending.
{of your poem, that is!}
I had hoped the ending would clinch this piece. Thanks much for seeing that, and for stopping by!
BTW, Colette…why can’t I find you on dVerse? Where is your entry? #arosebyanyothername?
Losing one’s place. So easy to do. I can’t ever seem to find the right bookmark! This is a sharp and intelligent piece. Nice work.
Losing one’s place—always does lead to trouble. If only there were ready bookmarks! Very sharp and smart piece here. Nice work.
Aw, thanks Steve..for the read and nice comment!
Straying off the path can be fun, but sometimes not so much. If I were a moth I’d be jealous of the butterfly too though..haha
Pat! Hi, there…guess we all stray from the path…now and then, and it is fun..but sometimes at a price. Thanks for the visit and and the comment!
This is very cool, and I really enjoyed the cadence of this. Your pulling together of the different lepidopteri was really a little journey that made me smile with your creative awareness of their different lives.
Hi, Chazzy! Glad you enjoyed this little piece. Thanks for stopping by, and for your comment!
Wow! I love it all. Especially lines like “sucking oxygen from the flames.!
Ah, so glad you liked this piece. Thanks so much for dropping by, reading and commenting!