Yes, I beguiled you
with gold and boa feathers
But would you have looked, listened
had I worn my old and only serviceable coat
Are my words now tarnished
in your eyes
Did I not speak age-old truths
that often gripped you
Man first pursues youthful beauty
to perhaps discover later whatever beauty lies within
Whatever jewels wait in overworked creases
you would not see nor mine despite the valuable vein
Had you first seen the rust
held together by springs, dented nails
You would have fled
and searched for more polished, obvious treasures
I let you believe
because I was
Because I still am
what you believe
I will not be invisible
I will be seen, heard
Tho illness and inevitability
will doubtless claim fading life and beauty
I will not go gently into the night
I will storm, flash, rail
against this melting flesh
I never lied
I just never told the whole truth
Until now.
l
Your touch with language is quite special. I love how you can also leave it plain because this is how most of us speak at most times. The brashness and shyness are wonderfully intertwined. You’re doing what I always strive to do, tell a story and paint a portrait that can teach and enthrall as well.
I wrote this with alot of trepidation. But it cried to be done. I thank you ever so much for the thoughtful read and comment. Much gratitude for your words
))
This is a wonderful poem, Jacquie, that feels to have come from the deepest parts of your heart. And it is brimming with poignant, insightful lines, particularly ‘But would you have looked, listened
had I worn my old and only still serviceable coat.’ Beauty … so many quotes to choose from: ‘Beauty is only skin deep’, ‘Beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ … & my absolute favourite from Keats’ ‘Ode on a Grecian Urn’: ‘Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.’ And I loved the Dylanesque ‘not going gently into the night’ that you have woven into your poem. I can never imagine you going gently anywhere, dear lady … and ‘polished treasure’ you most certainly are to me & many, many others
Peter, dear, I am overwhelmed by your reaction to this “confessional” I had lots of trepidation writing it, but it cried to be done. So…damn the torpedoes…lol. Thank you ever so much for your thoughtful read and comments.. they mean so much to me! Big big hugs
)) x
Superb, Jackie….I love the raw emotion & feeling in this! Keep storming & flashing because you ARE a treasure, and OUR treasure, too! Fabulous *huge hugs*
O, Gawd! I don’t know what I did to deserve all this, but I’ll take it, I’ll take it!! Thank you so much for your words, Louise. They mean so much coming from you! Yay! Hugs back atcha….Yippeee!!
love the honesty in this….the confession…i think on some level we all try to put that best foot forward…and then it is dangerous because do they love/like the mask and what happens when they find out…they always find out…love the intensity of your own emotion there in the end as well..
Yeah, we all have those masks, shields…but how does one live with that after a while…There always is, however, a corner of us we cannot share with our friends and lovers. Maybe as it should be. I’m still finding out. Thanks, Brian, for your perceptions. They are always valued
)
Dear Jacquie,
To return a beautiful comment.. in my humble opinion this is your very best poem yet! I was so moved when I first read this poem (before any comments) I couldn’t find the words to use. I read it again now and it brought tears to my eyes.
To quote the Goo Goo Dolls from (Iris):
‘And I don’t want the world to see me
‘Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s meant to be broken
I just want you to know who I am’
We all want the real ‘me’ to be seen, loved and appreciated. You are a treasure to those who can see you. I see you! *Hugs*
O, Abi…now you’re bringing tears to my eyes. Who woulda thunk…. So glad you connected to this…and I suppose we all have this on our wish list…to be be appreciated for the real you, whatever that is. Thank you so much for your sweet, and generous support here. Many huglets.
))/
And thank you for such moving words! Which you have kindly allowed me to read: http://the-linnet.tumblr.com/post/23231799119/deception-i-was-so-moved-by-the-latest-poem-by
)
At this point, I’m speechless. This is one happy poet. Thank you, thank you, my dear Abi!
))). Lovesplats and hugs!
It’s hard to be so honest and not have the writing clouded by the overwhelming nature of what you want to get out… Sometimes it’s hard to display your only serviceable coat without feeling you might get taken to the cleaners! Trust yourself Jackie, their loss is by far the greater.
I find your words very comforting, and perhaps you’re right. Thanks so very much, Brian
) x
Great outpouring here J, lots between the lines too I think, this is the poem that keeps on giving x
Right on, Shan! You are getting the between the lines thing! You scare me, girl! LOL! Thanks for the read and comment, much!
This is a brave a powerful declaration. It sounds like it needed to be said. If there isn’t beauty in the soul of this writer, then I have been completely deceived. This is what a lot of couples go through after the first blush has gone, after the romance has burned away, and you’re left with the everyday person you are. Whoever belongs to you is damned lucky, I say. Much love and respect, Moskowitz
Aw, Mosk…that is so darn sweet! Thanks so much for the read and for your kind and lovely words
)
Economical with the truth was a good way to be in my eyes
but you made the person go a step up.
“Tho illness and inevitability
will doubtless claim fading life and beauty”
These were my favourite lines.
Well written and intriguing development.
So pleased you connected to “Deception.” …Thanks very much for the read and thoughtful comment!
Sorry for late comment, J. Your poem is really powerful and I enjoyed the way you bring forward the notion that women must be heard. The anger seems to be at someone, though mortality itself comes into focus at the end. A powerful affirmation of the need for recognition of who we are as we are.
Right on, Chazzy! The anger is at someone, but not the first time this kind of rage was experienced. And it is directed at society as well for failure to recognize women, certainly, but men as well who suffer this need. We all wear masks. And at times we need to. But too many are forced to wear those masks for too long. So who are we, where are we? Thanks so much for the read, recognition and the nailed comment!
giving voice for so many in this raw multi layered and honest write Jacquie –
those lured by outward appearances
,
but a mere trinket to ‘Whatever jewels wait in overworked creases
you would not see nor mine despite the valuable vein’ ..
valuable indeed!! .. and beyond any measure -
treasured – hugs you Lib x x x
Aw, thanks so much, Lib, for your acknowledgement here, and for your read and comment.! Hope all’s well with you sweet friend!
I love so much honesty! Anyways, beauty is very relative and often deceptive. We all know true beauty is mostly invisible for the eye or it shines from within. A thoughtful read, if I might say so : )
Martin, thank you so much for your thoughtful comments. Much appreciated
)
This is a great poem written by a very brave woman, who I imagine gallops (on a stallion, dare I say … wink at Abi) like a very feminine Zoro into a fabulous sunset that sounds like Carl Orff’s Carmina Burina! I love it, Jackie!
Q! Thank you for your very colorful and generous comment! Never, did I think this poem would read like a screenplay! Thank you!
Penultimate stanza holds it all… it’s a kicker. Not even sure you need that last line.
Hi, Luke! Pondering over that last line…you may be right, not sure…but certainly will think about it. You opnions and comments are very much valued. Thanks so much for the read and for stopping by!
Trust you heart dear Jacquie – this is a stunner – raw, honest and not an ounce of sentimentality – this is why I love you
Sittting here, Marsha, my dear friend, and blubbering over your wonderful comment…and you say “not an ounce of sentimentality” yeah, maybe not in the poem, but lots of that in this aging cynic! And I know I can trust you with that. So grateful for your friendship, M! Thanks much for this comment. Whew!
Aw huggles
And I am grateful for yours *sniffs and wipes tears*
Sheez…what a pair! Excelsior!
We cannot stop the rolling on of time and so we all grow old, but although youthful beauty may be lost, if you look close enough its still there in the eyes, in the smile, and in every kind word uttered:)
Seeing all that is a gift to yourself and others. Thank you, Andy, for your kind words and generous support. Bless
) x
Lovely ..me thinks you write fantastic poems that charm the words as they enter my eyes..
Aw, that is so sweet, and poetic in itself. Thank you, my dear friend for your beautiful words and kind support. Big Hugs
)) x
A very powerful poem! As others have said, raw and honest and beautifully crafted. Meanwhile, a nice surprise awaits you at: http://daphnehaiku.blogspot.com/2012/05/liebster-blog-award-nomination.html
Hi, Daphne! Thanks so much for the read and lovely comment! Pleased you connected to “Deception.”
) As for the “surprise” and indeed, it is, I’ll dm you about that and I thank you much for the nomination of the award:)) Big Hugs!!!
You are most welcome and I always enjoy your poetry!
Yay!
This feels like confessional poetry wrought on an anvil of emotion, it placed me there and i felt it with gasp so thank you and so well done
It is a confessional, if not an apologia. And I thank you for your response and your comment.
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Good stuff, jackie–you are going for the substance under the illusion–men and women both tend to need that illusion, that glamor, but it isn’t what lasts. Enjoyed this much.
It isn’t what lasts, right on, Hedge…but the sequins are needed, I suppose, often, to attract…Age old story. Thanks much for your words, always!
i love the reference to the blessed Dylan! great read.
Thanks so much for the read and lovely comment!
)
Deception lies in the eyes of the beholder, whether the beholder can see without judgment, beyond the scars.
Not an easy task, that…but has validity, certainly…also assuages some guilt on my part. Thank you much for the insightful read and comment!